Sometimes you need a tool to get through tough moments. Maybe a coworker triggered you in a meeting, or you nearly argued with someone. You might have felt a wave of anxiety or had a hard phone call that left you sad and racing with thoughts.
Support from a therapist is important, but tools you can use on your own also help. Counselling helps you grow, but challenges often arise outside sessions. Your therapy toolkit is useful, then.
A therapy toolkit doesn’t change your feelings, but it gives you support tools – simple techniques and resources you can use on your own to help manage and respond to emotions. With these tools, you’re less likely to feel overwhelmed, anxious, stuck, or alone.
Before exploring these tools, remember: small changes can make a big difference. Here are simple tools to use daily.
1. Journalling: Untangle Disruptive Thoughts
Overthinking can wake you in a panic at night, making everything feel urgent. Journaling helps clear your mind and process your day.
Julia Cameron calls this a ‘brain dump’ in The Artist’s Way. The goal is to break the cycle of repeating thoughts. Journaling gives them a place to go. The writing doesn’t have to be perfect.
Here are some sentence starters to help you begin:
“Right now I feel…”
“What’s alive in me right now is…”
“What needs am I present to but can’t say…”
2. Grounding: Reminder of the Present Moment
When anxious or overwhelmed, your nervous system is on high alert, focused on the past or the future. Grounding with your senses helps you return to the present. Practising often makes it reliable for calm.
Try this grounding exercise to help you feel present:
- Name 5 things you can see and focus on the objects.
- 4 things you can feel.
- 3 things you can hear.
- 2 things you can smell
- 1 thing you can taste.
Bring your awareness to your feet and notice the ground beneath you. Grounding yourself in the present helps you feel safe and more connected to your experience.
3. Mindfulness: Noticing Without Judging
Mindfulness means noticing what’s happening without judgment. Pay attention to your mind and body. It doesn’t need long meditations; focus on a task or take a walk without distractions.
Eugene Gendlin developed ‘focusing,’ a practice that builds presence, awareness, and access to feelings.
Mindfulness can be as simple as pausing and noticing what’s happening.
Scanning the body and noticing the tightness in your belly, chest or shoulders
Aware of many thoughts that create pressure
A feeling of hurt or pain
Awareness gives you more choices and possibilities.
4. Breathing: Regulating Your Nervous System
Focusing on your breath brings you to the present and quickly calms your nervous system when emotional.
Try this
Inhale for 4 counts
Exhale for 6 counts
A longer exhale further calms your nervous system, signalling safety to your body.
5. Reframed Statements: Speak to Yourself With Kindness
When you’re struggling, your inner voice may turn critical. What you tell yourself matters. When your mind and body work together, you can support and calm yourself.
Reframing should feel believable, beyond positive affirmations. Steps: validate your experience, then rephrase with curiosity.
- Validation of your current experience, then
- Saying it differently from a place of curiosity
Here’s what this might look like:
– I can’t handle this situation, I’m overwhelmed
– I always get it wrong, and I’m the problem
Reframe;
- I have too much on at the moment and feel overwhelmed. What I need for myself is to break it down.
- I made a mistake. I’ll do my best to rectify it; this isn’t a representation of who I am.
These reframes should feel believable, real, and authentic to you.
Building Your Toolkit
A toolkit helps when you feel overwhelmed or emotionally flooded. These tools support you during stress, keeping you grounded, connected, and able to cope.
Finding what works for you is important, and the more you practice it, the more it will become a habit. It’s important to find what works for you. The more you practice, the more these tools will become your go-to when you need them most. This reinforces confidence in your ability to support yourself.
A Final Thought
Don’t wait until you’re overwhelmed. Try what works for you now so you’ll be prepared for tough moments.
Practising what works for you strengthens your connection and relationship with yourself.
Therapy is also a safe place to explore these ideas. As you grow more confident in yourself, it will show in your life.
If you’d like more support, you can book a free 15-minute consultation.
Recommended Books
The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron
Focusing by Eugene T. Gendlin